30 Days/30 Songs. Day 25: A Song that Makes you Laugh

Your Horoscope For Today - "Weird Al" Yankovic

Well.
This one was a lil' difficult. The immaturity in me laughs every time I hear MC Vagina's (Jon Lajoie) 'Show Me Your Genitals' or 'Guns don't Kill People'

Seriously. Even if the 'Show Me Your Genitals' (...and its remix, SMYG 2: E= MC Vagina ) is hugely offensive to women and decent thinking people... there's another song that constantly comes back as  THE song that makes me chuckle at it's simultaneous ridiculousness, and blatant, sardonic TRUTH.

From the polka-esque beat, to his cheering of each zodiac sign in the background, to the fortunes for each one resulting in shame, death or near grave injury- this song is genius.

The best part to me is the bridge(**)- where he rapidly states the condescending point of the song- purposely said at a breathtaking pace to not insult people too bad.

...but that's what makes the song hilarious- because there are people out here that really believe
that half a billion people in the world are going to have the same day- nevermind that your horoscope isn't ever personalized, so it applies to a twelfth of the world's population.

No, that's not crazy at all.


Because you're probably reading this shaking your head and considering all the books and psychics ya paid, saying "But, my horoscope has come true on several occasions!"
Yeah, see that's called subjective validation -which means you pick up on coincidences and assign them to an incorrect meaning. This especially happens when it's something that has personal meaning to you: when you want it to be more than a coincidence. You know... like that timeless saying "If you're looking for it, you'll find it."

Here's another example. When your cell phone rings out your line of sight, and you think "Oh, I bet that's just my baby callin' me" and holy shit! It is? Spooky, huh? Psychic, huh?

No, fool.

Because I bet you're not considering all those times you think it's your baby- and it's a bill collector.


Whatever.


**: Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the
relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep
significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give
you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid,
scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not
to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

Where was I?

30 Days/30 Songs. Day 24: A Song You Want to Play at Your Funeral

Cloud Smiles - Nobuo Uematsu

Yesterday, I told you people shit on video game music.
The people I spoke of probably have never heard of the musical GENIUS that is Nobuo Uematsu.

Let me school you. (AND I BEHOOVE YOU TO CLICK THESE LINKS AND LISTEN.)

As far as video games, Square-Enix's Final Fantasy series has constantly set the standard through amazing, breathtaking art, stories, characters, and music. My God, I can't talk to you for DAYS about the soundtracks to some of the entries in the Final Fantasy series.

And here's the kicker. Most of these beauties were composed by ONE guy. Mr. Nobuo Uematsu.


There is NOT a soul on Earth that wasn't moved to tears back in '97 on Final Fantasy VII when the character Aerith Gainsborough was brutally murdered by the remorseless Sephiroth. They weren't moved solely on the act itself, they were moved because of the leitmotif, 'エアリスのテーマ (Earisu no Tēma)' or simply, 'Aerith's Theme', that accompanied her passing. Oh, that opening piano. Jeez. Anyone who tells you they saw that murder and heard that song, then saw her burial and wasn't a little fucked up about that is a FUCKING LIAR.

Hell, I'll even throw in that 'Zanarkand' number from Final Fantasy X. Fucking beautiful music.

In 2003, when Uematsu was tasked to revisit the Final Fantasy VII franchise for the film, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, he did so with a fury. Besides pretty much re-arranging and enhancing many of the classics he blessed us with on the original soundtrack of the game Final Fantasy VII, he added some new tracks. One of them was the powerful 'Cloud Smiles' which starts out with a feigned melancholy spirit and picks up as the... no. I won't tell you about it. Go listen.

If I had the power to control the celebration of my life, it would go as follows:
No casket.
A solo table with an old fashioned glass of ice, a bottle of Jack Daniel's, a bottle Coke. Next to that, a shot of Jameson.
A picture of me having fun.

No drawn out theatrics, no crying and pouring out of hearts about regrets. Just silence, and that damn song. Then everyone go home.

30 Days/30 Songs. Day 23: A Song that You Want to Play at Your Wedding

Dearly Beloved - Yoko Shimomura

People shit on video game music.
People use words when they don't really need them. Music is the GREATEST example of this travesty. (Especially rap music)

Ok. I'm digressing...
Back in 2002, a video game was released. It was called Kingdom Hearts. The game was a product of the Square-Enix monster. (More on that later... as in, tomorrow) When it came to the soundtrack, Square turned to Japanese composer, Yoko Shimomura., who already had a couple impressive game soundtracks under HER belt, including the legendary Street Fighter II
When you begin the game, at the opening menu, a touching piano piece plays which in a way foreshadows the loving, yet sad tale that is about to unfold. This was how I first heard 'Dearly Beloved' which is arguably the best song on the whole damn game, even though it was light-hearted and a little (and I mean just a little) empty. As pleasant as the song was, it wasn't until 2005 that she tweaked it for Kingdom Hearts 2 and I immediately fell in love with the piece.

In the second version of the song, it has grown up. She added an orchestra, and the richness, the quality of the song just... enhances. It suddenly feels as though the meaning behind the work truly shines as the sounds of waves slide across sandy shores, dancing along the cello, and that piano. Truly amazing... and in my opinion one of the prettiest love songs I've ever heard. Apparently I'm not alone in that line of thought, think I'm lying? Go YouTube the song right now.

I've sat in on discussions before where people talk about the 'perfect song' to play at a wedding. It's always an argument about the mood isn't appropriate for Song X or Song B doesn't say the right thing. I've always thought to myself that's because sometimes the best thing in a situation is just understanding. Don't try to talk it out or be poetic. Let the music speak for itself. That's why this is my song for my particular occasion. No words are needed. None should be said. Everything you need to know lies within the title, and the music itself.

Give it a listen. Lie to me and say you disagree. (...and don't steal my idea.)

Fuck 'Going Hard'... 'Go Happy'

Somebody must have pissed off Hector Salamanca in the WORST WAY. Yes. That's a dead guy.

Yes. The killers cut his dick off and stuffed it into his mouth.

Yes. You just realized you are nowhere NEAR as hard as you thought you were. Hip-Hop got some of ya'll thinking ya'll really doing something. Especially with the fabricated tales of Rick Ross, Ray J, just about every member of Young Money, some of the Dipset and etc. etc.

This picture is just a reminder that REAL motherfuckers are out there doing REAL gangsta shit. This is not to get you to 'go harder.'

You wanna go hard? Finish school... Or don't finish school. Get a decent job. Go hard in your bank account. Go hard raising your family. Be happy for once. Quit using the hood as an excuse to be ignorant. Great things can come from small beginnings. Trust me, because I'm telling you dumb fucks out there still holding down a block that probably won't 'hold you down. You can be as hard as Monster Kody, or as hard as the guys singing these songs pretend to be, (Yeah, Google HIM, youngins) but there will always be somebody ready to erase you and replace you. Don't learn the hard way and end up on some asshole's little blog trying to stop you from being a statistic. Do your math, kids.

Nobody can ever take your happiness. Ya'll be easy. 

30 Days/30 Songs. Day 22: A Song You Listen to When You're Sad.

Today - The Smashing Pumpkins

Upon first listen to this song, I thought this was very confusing.

That opening line:
Today is the greatest day I've ever known. Followed later in the song by the identical sounding line-
Today is the greatest day I've never known.


The lyrics continue on a cryptic memoir of a man who is it at the end of his rope. Which really confused my young mind back in the good ole days of 1993. It wasn't until a couple years later that I truly discovered the genius and background of this song.

The writer of the song, Billy Corgan, (on the right in the picture) frontman of the group, was depressed and suicidal after an 18 month long tour. For whatever reason- he felt like things couldn't get any worse. I'm not going to pretend like I know what pulled him out of his rut, but this song is the product of that experience. Read the lyrics. Those 'pink ribbon scars that never forget' can safely be assumed to be actual scars from cutting.

The genius of the song lies in how life like it is. It's hopeless and beautiful simultaneously. Such a wonderful contradiction. You have this gorgeous, almost bubbly guitar melody which sort of represents how things can appear fine with people on the surface, everything's ok and right. Then you have these depressing lyrics that show that if you dig deeper beyond the surface you can find a whole world of darkness and hurt.

Despite it's dark nature, I find the song comforting because of the self-discovery going on within the song's words. It's more than just overcoming suicide. It's a world view of everything having a nice appearance, but honestly having a sad, futile depth. It reminds me that I should give up trying to be what everyone else wants me to be. Usually when I'm sad, it's because I'm fucking exhausted living as a constant outsider. Whether it's regionally, or because my morals just can't withstand the onslaught of society's trends. (That goes from love, to living) The song shows me that sometimes you reach a point in life and it's like you feel that's as far as it can go and then it doesn't work anymore, so you shed your skin. You become something that you're probably not in order to succeed at what you want. Finally, at some point you realize that whatever it is, will also hurt you, so now you have to go through the process of getting rid of that person.

Just one huge pickle.
But when you do figure it out- it may just be the greatest day you'll ever know.