"Have you really a very bad influence, Lord Henry? As bad as Basil says?"
"There is no such thing as a good influence, Mr. Gray. All influence is immoral- immoral from the scientific point of view."
"Why?"
"Because to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of some one else's music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him. The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly- that is what each of us is here for. People are afraid of themselves nowadays. They have forgotten the highest of all duties, the duty that one owes to one's self..."
-Oscar Wilde, 'The Picture Of Dorian Gray'
I have older siblings. I never looked up to them in admiration however.
I have younger siblings. Hopefully they do not look up to me in admiration.
The other week I considered becoming a 'big brother' after viewing a commercial on TV that said the NOVA area needed them 'bad'. I got to thinking, could I be a 'big brother'? Out of all the things that folk have said about me I've never been known for my pleasant patience... in fact, of all the things I'm most impatient about, human beings are extremely high on that scale. So I decided not to. It's not my damn fault that these women let any guy get them pregnant and now dude has run off and left them with a man-child to raise. Oh well. I guess you'll think twice next time you "bout to get some cutty" (as one young lady so eloquently put it, talking to her female friend- I overheard while riding the city bus) And that's when it hit me.
I've been disgusted these past couple weeks in this sodomitic city- mostly due to the fact that I part time bartend at an establishment whose young clientele leaves much to be desired. These women have made me ESPECIALLY happy, with their silly little ways- and head in the gutter behaviors. (i.e. answering to "where my bitches at?" in the club- yet starting nothing less than a riot when someone refers you to that in any other setting... which as I type this is synonymous with the whole foolish nigger/nigga debate, or the perception that the world is ganging up on the black man or Republican=evil racist.) Men are not excused, chivalry started to sneak away from you and now it's blatantly running out the yard while your watchmen sleep the night away. Hmm. As I stand behind my bar, I notice that some of the females look nice, as if they've spent hours in front of mirror making themselves look presentable, only to be accosted by you, young man, in your dreads, jeans, throwback of a player that doesn't exist- and a fitted hat of a Baseball team that you probably can't name three players from. If this what the average urban 18-25 year old in D.C. acts like then what the hell will this city be like 15 years from now?
Needless to say, I signed up to be a big brother.
My little boy, a puerto rican kid (who we'll call Alex) and I shot the shit in a Chipotle on our initial meeting. His dad's a deadbeat although I doubt he understands that term yet. But he likes baseball, (and loves the Yankees! perfect!!) and he is naturally curious. I took him to the batting cage to see his form and I almost felt purposeful. I doubt I want to ever give him advice on how to live his life; rather just accompany him on those boring days when having only a mom is just a drag. But I know to believe that is ridiculous and try as I might, a part of me will rub off on him which I hope will only be the positive.
Who knows. Maybe he'll teach me patience.
