30 Days of Marvel - Day 1: Your Favorite Character

Spider-Man

I feel like this one is obvious. If you knew me- then you probably stopped reading after that first sentence. Peter Benjamin Parker has meant a lot to me since day one.
He's the most relatable comic book character ever created. He toils day in and day out saving a city that has the most bi-polar, love-hate relationship for his costumed alter-ego, which he very stressfully fights to keep hidden. He's constantly broke, because he can't keep a  full time job. (See previous sentence) The part-time job he can manage to freelance at is owned and managed by a guy who hates him religiously. Oh, and that job?
Take front page news photos of himself being a selfless hero, only for his boss to certainly spin the images into lies and slander of criminal activity.

And money isn't the only thing being Spider-Man negatively affects...
His love life is constantly in jeopardy- when his enemies aren't flat out killing the love of his life, then he simply can't keep a date with women because he's consistently fighting for the sake of the city. In fact, it's that latter reason that screws up most of his social obligations. Hell, despite being a bit of a scientific genius under the mask, it's that latter reason that earned him failing grades in college.

But why does he put up with the mask?
Even the answer to that is miles far superior to many of his fictional brethren.
Additionally, his origin makes a lot of sense. You've heard it before. I'm sure.

His CIA parents, Richard and Mary Parker, leave him with his paternal uncle Ben, and his wife May, before departing on a secret mission only to be mysteriously killed in action. (but not before rescuing a pre-Weapon Plus Program Wolverine from the KGB) The young Peter grew into a skinny glasses wearing academic, a social outcast, a walking bullseye for bullies, jocks and the such. Surprisingly optimistic with sporadic sparks of self-esteem, which was no doubt a reflection of his uncle. Like his brother, Uncle Ben may have been much older than his brother Richard, but both showed signs of being athletically blessed and charming to women, in ways that Peter did not inherit outright. It was Uncle Ben that encouraged him that one day things would be different, that one day he would leave high school, and bullies and he would be the one signing their paychecks one day.

But that day never came.
What came was a radioactive spider bite at an after school science exhibit. A spider bite that granted him the ability to climb walls, the proportionate strength of a spider, and other amazing talents-but it also gave him an escape.

He could finally be the guy he always wanted to be. So what did he do? He invented webs in honor of the arachnid that blessed him with his powers, created a mask to hide behind and took his new self to the entertainment industry, wrestling and performing feats for money.
Because that's what happens when you're selfish, tired of being pushed around, and finally catch a big break.
Content with lining his pockets every night he never once thought to use these talents for the greater good.

Which, in my opinion is exactly what we'd all do in that position.
But when it comes to Peter Parker, things don't stay good for long, and the biggest teacher in his life would come in the form of his uncles' murder... but you already know about that. The most timeless of all superhero origins. All the other big names have been tweaked, adjusted, updated- but not Spidey because his has been perfect since its inception.

Spidey didn't grow up rich, nor was he trained by anyone. He just learned from the roughest teacher in existence. Life.
Although it was first written in the Bible, his mantra- "With great power, comes great responsibility" (Luke 12:48- For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required) It is the single most powerful phrase in comics history.
It's a phrase that will always be understandable to everyone, unlike the idea that just because you were raised in Kansas by farmers you have to do right by humanity.

Spider-Man is just a normal, everyday guy like all of us. His greatest strengths resonate with his many weaknesses, and it's hard not to care about him so- because a lot of what's in him, can be seen in you.


First Appearance: Amazing Fantasy #15 (Aug. 1962)

Most Memorable Spider-Man Story: 'Kraven's Last Hunt' (Masterpiece!)

This was one of the first Spidey stories I ever read, and by far one of the most cryptic mainstream tales I've ever ingested.
Longtime Spidey foe Kraven the Hunter is fed up with Spidey and decides to put Spider-Man down for good. Before he can do that however, he has to prove that he is indeed better than Spider-Man, and the only way to do that is to beat him physically, mentally, and become him.
Not going to spoil it for you, but the surprise ending must've been on the mind of a certain grunge rock star.


Just some weird, maniacal things going on here.

Marvel's Cinematic Roadmap so far- or... The explanation of Thor's teaser ending.

OK! So you've seen 'Thor: The Dark World' and you're stumped at the teaser trailer at the end of the film. I'm fairly certain that Marvel will eventually make the exact meaning of it all more 'accessible' to the non-comic fans as the films are released but, if you can't wait that long and the mystery is killing you, here's a general idea:

First, let's cover an extremely powerful object called The Infinity Gauntlet.
The Gauntlet itself is exactly what it is- a gauntlet (a glove- if you ain't got a dictionary handy.) The gauntlet can be armed with 6 gems that when combined grants the holder of all six unmeasurable power on a universal scale. The 6 gems represent 6 different aspects of existence- meaning that even holding one gem gave the holder massive control over that respective element. The more gems in control by one user grants the user more power.

Space: Allows user omnipresence, to move any object throughout reality, to warp or rearrange space.
Mind: Allows user to great mental and psionic power and access the thoughts and dreams of other beings. 
Soul: Allows user to steal, control, manipulate and alter souls, living or dead.
Reality: Allows user to fulfill wishes, even if the wish is in direct contradiction with scientific laws.
Time: Allows user total control over past, present & future. Time travel, can age & de-age beings/matter.
Power: Accesses all power and energy that ever has or will exist, and boosts the other gems' effects.

In Thor, the Infinity Gauntlet- without the gems- was shown very briefly in Odin's vault. See here:


Still here? Cool! Little bit to go.
Let's skip ahead to Avengers. If you were one of the smart ones that stayed behind after the credits for the teaser epilogue, then maybe you saw this:

That purple smiling guy with the hard on at the mere mention of death, is Thanos. The Mad Titan has always been a major threat to Marvel Universe pretty much every time he pops up, what he is most known for however, is The Infinity Gauntlet. A major storyline in 1991, where Thanos actually got his hands on all 6 Infinity Gems, and in a futile attempt to impress Death, (a female entity in the Marvel Universe) destroys most of the Universe.

Finally, at the end of Thor: The Dark World what essentially went down was, the Asgardians, Lady Sif and Volstagg visit The Collector, an ancient, immortal, powerful being with a knack for 'collecting' things, people, whatever he wants simply to maintain his sanity. Sif and Volstagg entrust the Aether to his care, commenting that, with the Tesseract (from Captain America: The First Avenger and Avengers) already in Asgard, having two Infinity Stones so close together would be dangerous. (Meaning that the Aether and the Tesseract are the Infinity Gems of Power, and Space, respectively) When Sif and Volstagg leave, the Collector remarks, "One down, five to go." Clearly implying that the Infinity Gems are being gathered. In the Infinity Gauntlet comic, the Collector was essential to Thanos gaining all six gems. Now, I can't call what the movies, have in store- but it's already been revealed the Collector in Marvel's cinematic universe will be one of Thanos' generals.

The trailer as a whole, is a lead in to next summer's Guardians of the Galaxy. The GotG are another Marvel superhero group which is another story, but think of them as the Avengers of space and duh, the galaxy. They have encountered Thanos on numerous occasions.

...and that's it!
So sit tight kids, things are about to get really interesting!

The Choice is Yours. (This or That)

I have a problem.
That problem is not uncommon to most men, in fact- I suppose a better statement would be:

"I've finally realized one of my many problems, as a man."

And that, is the behavior that I like aggressive, strong women for sex- and passive women to raise my future children.
And that is something I'm really going to have to wrap my brain around because that condition has totally plagued me all my life. There's one type of woman I'm attracted to for fucking, and another type of woman for y'know... relationships.

It's one of three reasons why my last relation probably didn't work out.
And in all honesty it's more of the heterosexual male bullshit that most of us are used to by now, (jeez I've brought it up in three previous blogs- the whole Madonna/Whore thing) but once again- it's the inability to see both sexual and relationship potential in the same woman.

So...until you get over it, you kinda have to go through the torturous motions of having to harmonize these women because (and they do need to know) there's going to be more than one woman in your life. (At any given time there are at least three women in mine.) Because God forbid, there are sexually imaginative and aggressive women, who can make your dick hard, listen to your secrets and successfully raise your children.
(Man, that's easy to admit on a blog, huh?)
But I get it, I really do. I love America's sweetheart, Sandra Bullock like every other hot blooded male, and would attend every PTA meeting concerning our offspring, but I wanna commit 100 sins with Sofia Vergara.
I know my sex objects, and I know the ones I could possibly put on a pedestal and love.
Apparently, so does Twitter:

The problem with this shit, is it will really fuck with a man's ability to form strong relationships. Sure, she will fulfill all his desires at first, but maybe after they're married or she bears his children he know longer sees her as a sexual being, and refuses to tarnish that image. So after the pissing and bullshit posturing we end up with the usual result, both partners stepping out on the relationship, seeking what they cannot find at home.

The only true solution to this problem is to deal with it.
EVERY woman whether she appears primarily vanilla, or primarily a deviant, has the aspects of both Madonna and Whore in her personality. That's how they're built. The good girl you married still wants to have sex, and the slut you spend drunken nights with can nurture you if she so desires.
Get over your mommy issues and realize that you can put this same woman on that pedestal, and every now and then drag her ass off of it- fuck the shit out of her, and then without question put her back on it when you're done.

And that's really how relationships work. You want somebody that you admire and enjoy spending time with, as well as showing her off to your friends, cumming in her face and continuing on.

...spending time and admiring.

IRIS.

Iris- The Goo Goo Dolls

Usually this type of post would be under the 'Revolutions Per Minute' tab... Ya know, it’s funny.
Sometimes you can be staring off into space, and that random shuffle on your iTunes will land directly in the middle of the mental quagmire you didn’t realize you were in.

Iris landed next to me 49 minutes ago. 

I saw City of Angels twice. Once when it was originally released, and then another time with a girl. If I never see it again, I’ll be fine. I’ve never been a fan of romance films, because my brain usually rips their silly, predictable, and over-saturation of cheesy situations to shreds. …City of Angels was a little different.

There were several conflicts at play here. 
It was sad. The sacrifice and immediate swift kick in the nuts- was devastating. But the main conflict, was that this theme of love and sacrifice was all too familiar. Allow me to expand...

I used to be …”loose”

My underwear were a burden and they were easily cast off to most women that came along. Long story short, despite the warnings from my body that I needed to quit, put away my phallic toy, and focus on strengthening me-  I actually did not until I met a woman. A special woman. A woman that I fell for, put away my childish toys and games, only for her to suddenly leave and marry someone else. 

Sacrifice. Immediate swift kick in the nuts. #fail.

Now it seems, I spend my time in this weird cycle of sleeping around, courting, or just plain not interested.

And anytime I even consider tearing down my barriers, I think that I’m cut from some strange hybrid theory of academia, conservative thinking, free spirited, non-conforming, pish-posh. Oh, wait-That doesn’t make sense? Welcome to the mire.

I don’t think most will understand, and even if they could, do I want them to?

Sometimes, you go through life- and it all feels like a big game of Hide & Seek, except... there's a big part of you that desperately wants to be found by that someone. You want to be found but you refuse to compromise your morals, your standards. You refuse to be involved in anything not authentic and scripted... and more importantly,
you really don't want to be played, or worse, hurt. 

I've been MVP of that position. It got me nowhere. I wanted- demanded the girl to figure me out with minimal help from me. Certain girls would attempt the ascend up the mountain, and realize it was futile and scale back down. 

And there in lies the rub my friend. 
You don't know what is coming around that corner. Love and life is a gamble. And if you're not out there jumping with blindfolds then you aren't really living. You can't guarantee anything in this life except death, so reveal your hand every now and then, right?

Failure is the end. It's just... I don't know ...learning that this particular way doesn't work.

Uncertainty. That’s really the core of it all, isn’t it? Faith.

Fade to black.

(If you're wondering what this song has to do with the movie, it was written specifically for the film- and pretty much captures the point of the protagonist's conflict.)

 “Iris” performed by The Goo Goo Dolls
City of Angels Soundtrack/ Dizzy Up The Girl

YOU LITTLE FUCK. (Tiny Tirade #2)

I am sick and tired of insecure men walking around with their pants draped below their asses, and their over compensating passive aggressive issues.

What in the fucks. It's almost at that point where I could stop being mad at the guys- and start being angry with the women.. hmm? Maybe. You dumb asses continue to deal with this caliber of gentleman.

I was hanging out with my friend +Christian the other day, along with his girlfriend Cynthia, and her sister. For sake of story, let's call her- Julie. At some point during all this loud, jovial time we were having, Julie's boyfriend calls and she immediately has me be quiet. Not because she's on the phone, and she needs to hear him- because Cynthia starts shushing me. She wants me to be quiet because this boyfriend will get mad and harass her because of some ridiculous reason that I stopped listening to that ultimately boils down to he's an insecure little fuckhead. Or better yet, a jealous one little fuckhead.

Dog.
I'm thirty got damned years old. I'm not shuting up shit for some other man's convenience. Julie starts telling me, "Oh well, if he hears you over here (btw- we are over her parent's house because Cynthia and Julie live at home) he's gonna come over starting shit with her and he may or may not say something to me.

Dog.

The whole idea, and pseudo-threat of some little jackass pretend wanting to fight me, (because really he only wants to intimidate his girlfriend) accusing me of interest in his woman kills me. If I'm over as your girlfriend's sister's company- SHUT ALL OF THE FUCK UP.

That also goes for you motherfuckers that catch attitude when I'm behind the bar doing MY damn job, your girlfriend asks for a drink, I make the shit- smile as I hand it to her and you get all sorts of sand in your vagina over it. I'm SO tired of having to preach this shit to women that deal with this kind of man. (and vice versa, because a jealous ass woman is equally annoying)

And here's my dumb ass:
I tell you nothing good can come from a jealous ass mate.
I point out how stressful it is dealing with them.
I point out the lack of trust.
I point out the obvious possibilities that the jealous one is actually the one doing what's being accused,

...and this is the feeling I end up having at the end of the day, when you stupidly deal with that bullshit, nurturing the nonsense.

Look kiddo, there's a difference between being a jealous asshole and being a self-aware boyfriend/sex partner/etc. Asking your girlfriend who her male friends are? Fine. Telling  and expecting her to remain monogamous to you? Great! That's just stating a sexual preference- and the cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

But don't fucking tarnishing an idea such as sincere desire to be your girlfriend's one and only sex partner with something as base as jealousy.
Trusting your girlfriend when she's out of your sight is not wrong. In fact it's encouraged!

Flipping out when other men notice her, flipping out when you think other men notice her, making furious and baseless accusations of cheating? - JEALOUSY.
Popping up at places? Claiming you want to fight? Because lawd knows you ain't really trying to put up your hands with a guy you don't know in front of your girlfriend. JEALOUSY.

Jealous- because for some odd reason, she's getting, or you think she's getting some type of attention you can't receive yourself. I'm not a shrink, I can't figure that part out- but it is what it is.

And NO MATTER how you cut it, jealousy is controlling/manipulative/abusive behavior masquerading as insecurity. Jealousy is a poison. 

And that's what you are. A sad little insecure poison to society. 

The Last word:

Happy Endings. Happy. Endings.

Three days ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. This means a lot to me...because she was the longest girlfriend I've ever had. We almost made it to a year. There are a lot of things going through my mind. This isn't necessarily one of them, but... well... you'll get the idea. Enjoy.

“Happy Endings” – Margaret Atwood (1983)

John and Mary meet.

What happens next?

If you want a happy ending, try A.

A.
John and Mary fall in love and get married. They both have worthwhile and remunerative jobs which they find stimulating and challenging. They buy a charming house. Real estate values go up. Eventually, when they can afford live-in help, they have two children, to whom they are devoted. The children turn out well. John and Mary have a stimulating and challenging sex life and worthwhile friends. They go on fun vacations together. They retire. They both have hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging. Eventually they die. This is the end of the story.

B.

Mary falls in love with John but John doesn't fall in love with Mary. He merely uses her body for selfish pleasure and ego gratification of a tepid kind. He comes to her apartment twice a week and she cooks him dinner, you'll notice that he doesn't even consider her worth the price of a dinner out, and after he's eaten dinner he fucks her and after that he falls asleep, while she does the dishes so he won't think she's untidy, having all those dirty dishes lying around, and puts on fresh lipstick so she'll look good when he wakes up, but when he wakes up he doesn't even notice, he puts on his socks and his shorts and his pants and his shirt and his tie and his shoes, the reverse order from the one in which he took them off. He doesn't take off Mary's clothes, she takes them off herself, she acts as if she's dying for it every time, not because she likes sex exactly, she doesn't, but she wants John to think she does because if they do it often enough surely he'll get used to her, he'll come to depend on her and they will get married, but John goes out the door with hardly so much as a good-night and three days later he turns up at six o'clock and they do the whole thing over again.

Mary gets run-down. Crying is bad for your face, everyone knows that and so does Mary but she can't stop. People at work notice. Her friends tell her John is a rat, a pig, a dog, he isn't good enough for her, but she can't believe it. Inside John, she thinks, is another John, who is much nicer. This other John will emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, a Jack from a box, a pit from a prune, if the first John is only squeezed enough.

One evening John complains about the food. He has never complained about her food before. Mary is hurt.

Her friends tell her they've seen him in a restaurant with another woman, whose name is Madge. It's not even Madge that finally gets to Mary: it's the restaurant. John has never taken Mary to a restaurant. Mary collects all the sleeping pills and aspirins she can find, and takes them and a half a bottle of sherry. You can see what kind of a woman she is by the fact that it's not even whiskey. She leaves a note for John. She hopes he'll discover her and get her to the hospital in time and repent and then they can get married, but this fails to happen and she dies.

John marries Madge and everything continues as in A.

C.

John, who is an older man, falls in love with Mary, and Mary, who is only twenty-two, feels sorry for him because he's worried about his hair falling out. She sleeps with him even though she's not in love with him. She met him at work. She's in love with someone called James, who is twenty-two also and not yet ready to settle down.

John on the contrary settled down long ago: this is what is bothering him. John has a steady, respectable job and is getting ahead in his field, but Mary isn't impressed by him, she's impressed by James, who has a motorcycle and a fabulous record collection. But James is often away on his motorcycle, being free. Freedom isn't the same for girls, so in the meantime Mary spends Thursday evenings with John. Thursdays are the only days John can get away.

John is married to a woman called Madge and they have two children, a charming house which they bought just before the real estate values went up, and hobbies which they find stimulating and challenging, when they have the time. John tells Mary how important she is to him, but of course he can't leave his wife because a commitment is a commitment. He goes on about this more than is necessary and Mary finds it boring, but older men can keep it up longer so on the whole she has a fairly good time.

One day James breezes in on his motorcycle with some top-grade California hybrid and James and Mary get higher than you'd believe possible and they climb into bed. Everything becomes very underwater, but along comes John, who has a key to Mary's apartment. He finds them stoned and entwined. He's hardly in any position to be jealous, considering Madge, but nevertheless he's overcome with despair. Finally he's middle-aged, in two years he'll be as bald as an egg and he can't stand it. He purchases a handgun, saying he needs it for target practice--this is the thin part of the plot, but it can be dealt with later--and shoots the two of them and himself.

Madge, after a suitable period of mourning, marries an understanding man called Fred and everything continues as in A, but under different names.

D.
Fred and Madge have no problems. They get along exceptionally well and are good at working out any little difficulties that may arise. But their charming house is by the seashore and one day a giant tidal wave approaches. Real estate values go down. The rest of the story is about what caused the tidal wave and how they escape from it. They do, though thousands drown, but Fred and Madge are virtuous and grateful, and continue as in A.

E.

Yes, but Fred has a bad heart. The rest of the story is about how kind and understanding they both are until Fred dies. Then Madge devotes herself to charity work until the end of A. If you like, it can be "Madge," "cancer," "guilty and confused," and "bird watching."

F.

If you think this is all too bourgeois, make John a revolutionary and Mary a counterespionage agent and see how far that gets you. Remember, this is Canada. You'll still end up with A, though in between you may get a lustful brawling saga of passionate involvement, a chronicle of our times, sort of.

You'll have to face it, the endings are the same however you slice it. Don't be deluded by any other endings, they're all fake, either deliberately fake, with malicious intent to deceive, or just motivated by excessive optimism if not by downright sentimentality.

The only authentic ending is the one provided here:

John and Mary die. John and Mary die. John and Mary die.

So much for endings.
Beginnings are always more fun. True connoisseurs, however, are known to favor the stretch in between, since it's the hardest to do anything with.

That's about all that can be said for plots, which anyway are just one thing after another, a what, and a what, and a what.

Now try How and Why.