Numbers [Flirtation]

Believe it or not, I've never been the type to just walk up to a girl and just start talking to her in the hopes of walking away from this interaction with her number. When I'm behind a bar slinging bottles, it doesn't count; because it's more of the position flexing the power than my actual charm. Sure, my witty wisecracks and vibrant behavior play a wee part, but it doesn't work in front of the bar. Remember what happened the last time I tried to pick up a girl? Yeah, nothings changed. Now I know what you're thinking, "How's that true if your promiscuous lifestyle is also true?" Pure, dumb, uninhibited LUCK, and my animal magnetism to attracting random situations.

A fine example of this particular 'mojo', if you will, are my roles of maintenance guy to my female friends, and recently the eye candy of women in their thirties. (which, BTW I'm loving, because I'm sick of the mentality of women my age, and to them I'm nothing more than a piece, so everyone benefits.) But it's weird, because I never would've expected someone of my ...habits to attract women far my superiors and have their numbers stuffed into my pants while I'm working. It'd be nice if it were that easy for ALL women. Which kinda brings me here.

Earlier this week, I experienced a situation at my bar where a woman was attracted to a guy and she kinda wanted him to say something to her, but he didn't. In fact, I doubt he noticed her. Why? She was cute. Really cute... in the naive sort of way. So why?

Are you asking yourself why didn't HE say something?

Okay... because I asked her why didn't SHE say something. Her reply was she was shy. Eh. What really knocked me off my rocker was my co-worker's response- "Hey, I'm a woman. My momma taught me that the man should come after me." and she stuck to that saying despite whatever situation I could come up with. (i.e. What if you noticed him standing at a hot dog stand from your office window- and he just captivated you? her reply: If he can't see me, oh well.)

And that kinda scares me.

Because if I'm not saying anything... and she's not saying anything- well, that's a pickle isn't it? You know who IS saying something? Losers and chickenheads. It's the only explanation why there are

so many mismatched couples out there. You know what I'm talking about- Great girl- lots of positive attributes, and her bum ass boyfriend. (...and vice versa) I hear horror stories everyday.

When it comes to some guys, myself included- it almost seems like most women have this 6 foot thick defensive exterior, where it's almost equivalent to kamikaze duty to speak to women in social settings. (Something I blame completely on dirtbag guys. ...I'll leave it at that.) I know, I know- it sounds like an excuse, but it's kind of true. I'm saying all of this because I've (I've as in we've) got to get better at this- it's not fair of me to expect women to approach me if there's an attraction. Just like women shouldn't expect me to go after them- especially if they're gonna make a simple meeting harder than threading a needle blind. I should totally be the one to go after her, but- I mean if it's mutual... what's wrong with her saying "Hi"? Or saying anything just to give me a little help... I don't know. It just seems like A LOT of pressure on me, I have to initiate, bait, ensnare, follow through and be consistent (and that's depending on if I want to remain a quality individual, because I can skip consistency and just go for the lust and jet before my wet spot is dry.) I can't rely on shagging women who hit on me at my job forever, that's really not how I'm looking forward to telling my kids that's how I met their mother.

"Yeah son, she was sucking down Mai Tais and then with those big brown dazed eyes, she slurred coyly, 'I wanna blow you.'... at that moment I knew she was the one."

I guess what I'm trying to say in the end is, meeting folk has become more difficult than it actually should be. There's really no reason why good folk should feel like all the great catches are taken

(A common thing I hear, but don't believe) or that you should look pretty and hope I have the courage to come to you. Isn't that a tad silly? When you could just as easily say 'hi', or ask for directions to somewhere you really don't care about going, or even compliment my shirt. Whatever. Everyone step their game up, and simultaneously be more open for new possibilities. You see the guy is trying, he's approached you, he's a bit nervous, he's trying to make conversation- don't be a rottencrotch, give him a chance. (Yeah, I'm talking about you Mr. "I-have-no-game" game guy.) If he's not tickling your fancy, don't prolong the inevitable for him and torture yourself. Let him go immediately, with tact. (and of course, vice versa... if applicable.)

Aww fuckit. I'm just rambling again. ...as if any of this makes any kind of sense.

Flirtation: Attention without Intention. ~Max O'Rell, John Bull and His Island