Friday, September 21, 2012

All the kids I've wasted...



A long time ago I dated a girl that hated semen.
Actually, I went through an entire phase where it seemed every girl I took home, no matter where I met them, just hated semen.

I'm not talking a strong displeasure- no I'm talking full-on Hitler to Jews hate. 

So, I'm sitting on a kitchen counter one cool summer night in 2006 as Sonya is on her knees giving me one of the sloppiest blowjobs I've ever encountered. I'm talking copious amounts of saliva. I had been sleeping with her for about a month now, and it was strange- I wasn't really attracted to her but she made my dick happy so I kept her around. She was currently house and dog sitting for friends that were off celebrating their honeymoon, and I suppose something on Lifetime got her in a mood because she called me over and seconds after I walked in, I'm experiencing the first sentence of this paragraph.

Minutes later I'm clutching the faucet, tightening my stomach muscles hoping to God that I don't blow my load, because she had given me her rules not two weeks ago- and within those rules was that damned,

"Do NOT cum on me, or near me,and definitely NOT in me."

Cool.
I just have to endure this super-awesome session with her face vagina without cumming. What the fuck. Anyway, the full sized Labrador she's supposed to be watching is looking at me oddly.


Since I can't have a stare down with this beast and refrain from showing physical appreciation for this fantastic fellatio, I calmly unsuction her lips off my pelvis and suggest we move in to the bedroom.
As I'm wrapping up in preparation for the sex, I can't help thinking how ass backwards she is, that she gives the most tongue lashingest, dick strangling, blowies ever- and she obviously has NO problem fucking in her friend's bed- but she's afraid of a little cum.

In fact, after our suck, fuck, she ripped the condom off and hit i t back to the head. (Duck Duck Goose)
Which, even though it was  amazing ...it left me confused.
After the smoke cleared, we laid there tired, and it wasn't long before I executed my exit strategy. I tell her that I need to get back home and wash clothes my uniforms for work tomorrow, and some other bullshit that were ridiculous lies. I've slept around enough at this point in my life to have my exit strategies down to a science- I keep all my clothes relatively close, for faster eject times. Lacing up my shoes, there's only one thing I need to grab before I leave:
The condom that she so casually tossed to the floor earlier.

I'm frantically looking or it, and I can't find it- and it's going on 15 minutes- she's noticing I'm looking for something-  and I think it's kinda making her uneasy. I tell her I can't find the condom, but I gotta go- she begins turning on the lights and tells me she'll take care of it. I head out into the hall on the way out, where I see the dog with the condom in his mouth, shaking his viciously as if it were a chew toy- spilling all of my unused children on his face and the walls.

I take the condom from the growling dog, quickly toss it away and wash my hands.
Sonya finally comes out of the bedroom just as I turn the water off. I turn to grab a paper towel and she asks me when do I wanna hook up again.

I turn around to answer her and before I can say anything, I see she's bent over playing with the dog, who is licking her on her neck, face and hands.

"What? *giggle* Why are you looking at me like that?"

Thursday, September 6, 2012

The Man Behind the Curtain

I'm guilty of a LOT of things.

One of these things is being a great believer. The other is being a powerful deceiver.
Another is my lack of faith in almost everything positive. I have almost fully embraced cynicism, and not that watered down, 'I don't give a fuck' nonsense that my people like to scream out loud in their rap lyrics, tweets, and club Polaroids.

No... true cynicism the kind where I see flowers and immediately begin looking for the funeral. The kind of cynicism that leads me to self-destructive behavior and lack of romantic ambition- like selling sperm. Not because I'm depressed I can't find someone- but because I'm so disgusted at everything that I don't even want to touch a woman let alone make offspring with her.

Maybe it's like George Carlin said.
"Scratch any cynic and you'll find a disappointed idealist."

I am disappointed.
I'm disappointed in the music you people allow to run the industry. I'm disappointed in all the 'bad bitches' I'm disappointed in the growing amounts of estrogen discovered in men. I'm disappointed in the over glamorization of mediocrity. I'm disappointed in how truly selfish most people are, and have NO fucking clue how much they are. I'm disappointed that Beyonce is a household name and Nikola Tesla is not. I'm disappointed in the lack of creativity in the world. I'm disappointed that decades of literature and information is at your fingertips, but you'd rather gossip about Tom Cruise's sexuality- or anybody's sexuality these days.

I'm disappointed that I've deceived you all.

I showed you one person on my blogs, and showed you another in person.

That's not fair.
One thing I've always prided myself on was my clarity. I say exactly what I say, and I say what I mean.
But for some reason, you haven't been understanding what I'm saying. This is my fault.

People.
Get off of yourself. Get off of your idols. Get off of that guy that told you you were pretty. Get off that girl that sucks your dick the way you like it, but really doesn't help you grow at all. Stop walking around eyes wide shut and then believing that you were swindled when the truth becomes more apparent to you. Stop being single parents. Stop judging people that make less money than you. Stop feeding off of your parents! That's not YOUR money- that's theirs! Stop saying that weed is harmless because it comes from the Earth. Stop drowning you sorrows in liquor. Definitely stop doing ANYTHING mentioned in current rap songs.  Stop conceding to weakness and failure. Stop worrying about love and worry more about mental expansion. Search for nirvana!

Fail. But fail with dignity! Do things that scare the living shit out of you. Stop telling people what you won't deal with. News flash- Nobody gives a fuck. Surprise some people and step OUT of your comfort zone. Surprise yourself. Remember-It's easy to play hard at practice- on the field you're comfortable in. The true test comes at your performance in a foreign arena. Stop telling people how you feel. Sure, feelings are important. Blah, blah. Feelings aren't brand new, and yours aren't unique to you. But should the world stop spinning because you are under pressure from your job and life?

Stop falling in love with the idea of being in love. Stop loving things and using people. Try it the other way around. Stop settling for the projections people play for you. Start paying attention to the actual person. Stop trying to be a part of the big thing. Be satisfied with the modest thing. Embrace the reality of situations. Realize that no matter how attractive you think you are, at the end of the day you still piss and shit and it smells just as bad as the ugly person down the block. Learn to take criticism.

Learn to know when you should shut the fuck up.



"Oh, Life is bigger. It's bigger- and you, YOU are not ME. The lengths that I will go to, the distance in your eyes. ....Oh no, I've said too much. ...I set it up.
That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion. Trying to keep up with you... and I don't know if I can do it.
Oh no I've said too much. I haven't said enough..."

                                                                           -R.E.M.,    'Losing My Religion' 


"My dreams were all my own, I accounted to them to nobody; they were my refuge when annoyed- my dearest pleasure when free." -Mary Shelley; 'Frankenstein' or 'The Modern Prometheus'