January 2016----------------------------------------------------------------------
My friend, Candace runs a holistic health blog over at theglowgetter.com. Recently, I was checking the site out and saw this particular entry, that reminded me of one of my friends' current plight so...
from her:
I'll let you in on a little secret—I've been known to procrastinate from time to time. Okay, it's not that big of a secret. I mean, I did write a whole blog post about it. But still. It's a thing.
If always left to my own devices, I might just procrastinate my day away, accomplishing very little in the way of my goals. Luckily for me, I’ve got a secret weapon in my back pocket: an accountability partner.
What is an accountability partner? Officially, it’s a person who person who holds you accountable when trying to keep a commitment. Unofficially, it’s the difference between accidentally watching an entire season of House of Cards on Netflix and getting off the couch and training for the 5K you optimistically signed up for. Studies show that those who wrote down their goals, formulated an action plan to reach these goals, and sent weekly progress reports on their action commitments to a friend accomplished significantly more than those that didn’t. How much more? One study proved that 76% percent of participants with accountability partners accomplished their goals, as opposed to 43% for the group with no accountability.
Now that we know why we need one, let’s look at some tips to choosing the right accountability partner for you:
Decide what you want out of an accountability partner. Do you want a hands-on or hands-off partner? Maybe you know what you need to do, you just have trouble actually doing it. Or, maybe you need some guidance about what steps to take to achieve your goals. Some people have partners that just ask them a simple “did you do it?” while others choose partners that can mentor them in their chosen area. Think about what you actually need from your partner that will help you get ‘er done.
Choose someone able to devote time to holding you accountable. You may have the perfect person in mind, but if that person is too busy, it’s the same as having no partner at all. Depending on what you need from a partner, you may not be asking for much. However, if your partner is juggling several things, even the smallest commitment can be hard to keep. Make sure you choose someone that is able, and willing, to fit your accountability needs in their schedule.
Pick someone who will hold you responsible for your actions. Let’s be honest, it’s easy to let ourselves down. Part of the reason is that we’re able to downplay or excuse our inaction. A good accountability partner will not accept your excuses and will have no problem calling your bluff. Think of the tough love given from a coach or favorite teacher that you never wanted to disappoint. You should respect your accountability partner’s good opinion enough not to want to lose it.
Cheerleaders are great, but challengers are better. While it’s always nice to get an A for effort, you don’t want your accountability partner congratulating you for earning a participation trophy (sorry, Mom.) Choose someone who will encourage you to reach a little higher in your goals than you might think you can, someone who really helps you to stretch. A good accountability partner, for instance, will suggest you try to reach for your department’s sales record instead of merely reaching your quota for the month.
You don’t have to have just one! Although we’ve been speaking today about a singular accountability partner, there can be as many as you’d like. Often, people choose groups of people to be their accountability partners as well as a sole person (think of situations such as Alcoholics Anonymous, where people speak both to a group and a personal sponsor). Your accountability partner(s) can be a friend, a group you belong to, a blog, or your Twitter followers—whatever floats your boat. Just make sure they’re actually keeping you accountable!
If you’re anything like me (or the rest of the world, really), an accountability partner can truly make the difference when reaching for those goals. Coincidentally, health coaches make great accountability partners, and I’d love to be yours! If you’re interested in getting started, schedule a free Get Glowing Strategy session or read more about The Glow Getter’s services today!
March 16, 2015-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This video from 2011, by Krystal will never get old to me. She's not saying anything particularly new, but sometimes you gotta talk to people on their level. Cut 'em OFF, Krissy!
January 2014-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Sexual Incongruence? A.T. or... (@MyGirlNesh)
Okay so... here's the thing... Several of my friends and acquaintances have been discussing this concept of "bad sex partners" and dudes who just "do it wrong"... And this commentary is usually coming from males themselves. Based on the conversations that females either have with them... or conversations that they have overheard. So I thought this would be something interesting to discuss because I never really know what men are thinking when it comes to sex.
One of my friends tweeted recently that "If a [n-word]'s goal is not to make his lady orgasm as many times as she is capable of doing so in the time allotted for their sexual encounter" he is doing something wrong and the chick will talk about him poorly to all of her friends. Another of my friends tweeted that he thinks [n-word]s just pound until they can't anymore and call it a day"... In both of these cases, (LOL) it seems that both think that someone is getting it wrong. But I also wonder what people who think that way would do to rectify the situation.
Sex seems to be such a taboo topic for discourse in male-female relationships. Even if you are not planning on keeping a female around for long periods of time; Gentlemen, you should still follow the rule of reciprocity. I'm positive it will serve you well. Now, if you do not know what this is... I have no problem explaining it; as I TRULY do not understand why most men do not think this way.
I know that several don't because I have had several conversations that has made this very clear to me. Anyway, the rule of reciprocity with MOST women says that if you do what it takes to please her, your pleasure will know very few limits. I know for a fact this is the general school of thought for most Aquarians. [to a much stronger degree] But on a very basic level, it is also the rule of thumb for most women. Even in the most simple situation: If you find out what a woman likes, and put effort into accurately delivering it, she will come back even if only for the peen.
FACT!
The problem is that most men, and women, think that they have sex down pact for all members within their radius of attraction. But that's not true. How do you know what someone wants or likes if you don't ask or find some method of discovery? And then, many men think that they are able to tell what turns a woman on or tickles her fancy by paying attention to what she says or how she responds to you. Little known fact... If a woman is into a man... she will say and do whatever is necessary to make him feel good. My point? You cannot rely solely on the things that you think are tell-tell signs simply because you would rather avoid what could result in an awkward conversation. It doesn't serve either of you well. No two people are created equally. Therefore the next may not like what turned the last on, and so on and so forth. The only way you can really find out what gets a person moving, is to inquire within. Ask her what she likes... tell her what you like... Discuss her turn-ons and more importantly her turn-offs... Keep her interested and get more interested.... And how would you even KNOW how sexually congruent you are with a person otherwise?
That being said. sex should be a negotiation of things that work for both parties. It becomes exponentially more challenging, yet straight forward once you are in a monogamous relationship because then you have several other variables to tend to... Yet you're only doing these things with ONE person...
And if you decide not to take into account what makes her body tick... you are by definition a selfish lover. Now there are obviously cases where someone would not care if they are being labeled a selfish lover. But clearly this information is not really for them. More so, it is for those who truly think their game is tight...and yet aren't taking the steps necessary to insure that this is correct.
Every woman is wired differently... and this may or may not be the case for every man as well. For instance, sex is purely psychological for some women while for others it is all physical, and others may experience variations of combinations of the two. So... I am all for experimenting. But I am even more in favor of simply asking the person... That is of course... if he/she is someone that you would prefer to keep around. Sex is meant to be enjoyable, and bring joy to those who experience it. Opening up the lines of communication can truly improve the chances of meeting that goal for all parties involved.
More to come later I suppose... holler!
My friend, Candace runs a holistic health blog over at theglowgetter.com. Recently, I was checking the site out and saw this particular entry, that reminded me of one of my friends' current plight so...
from her:
I'll let you in on a little secret—I've been known to procrastinate from time to time. Okay, it's not that big of a secret. I mean, I did write a whole blog post about it. But still. It's a thing.
If always left to my own devices, I might just procrastinate my day away, accomplishing very little in the way of my goals. Luckily for me, I’ve got a secret weapon in my back pocket: an accountability partner.
What is an accountability partner? Officially, it’s a person who person who holds you accountable when trying to keep a commitment. Unofficially, it’s the difference between accidentally watching an entire season of House of Cards on Netflix and getting off the couch and training for the 5K you optimistically signed up for. Studies show that those who wrote down their goals, formulated an action plan to reach these goals, and sent weekly progress reports on their action commitments to a friend accomplished significantly more than those that didn’t. How much more? One study proved that 76% percent of participants with accountability partners accomplished their goals, as opposed to 43% for the group with no accountability.
Now that we know why we need one, let’s look at some tips to choosing the right accountability partner for you:
Decide what you want out of an accountability partner. Do you want a hands-on or hands-off partner? Maybe you know what you need to do, you just have trouble actually doing it. Or, maybe you need some guidance about what steps to take to achieve your goals. Some people have partners that just ask them a simple “did you do it?” while others choose partners that can mentor them in their chosen area. Think about what you actually need from your partner that will help you get ‘er done.
Choose someone able to devote time to holding you accountable. You may have the perfect person in mind, but if that person is too busy, it’s the same as having no partner at all. Depending on what you need from a partner, you may not be asking for much. However, if your partner is juggling several things, even the smallest commitment can be hard to keep. Make sure you choose someone that is able, and willing, to fit your accountability needs in their schedule.
Pick someone who will hold you responsible for your actions. Let’s be honest, it’s easy to let ourselves down. Part of the reason is that we’re able to downplay or excuse our inaction. A good accountability partner will not accept your excuses and will have no problem calling your bluff. Think of the tough love given from a coach or favorite teacher that you never wanted to disappoint. You should respect your accountability partner’s good opinion enough not to want to lose it.
Cheerleaders are great, but challengers are better. While it’s always nice to get an A for effort, you don’t want your accountability partner congratulating you for earning a participation trophy (sorry, Mom.) Choose someone who will encourage you to reach a little higher in your goals than you might think you can, someone who really helps you to stretch. A good accountability partner, for instance, will suggest you try to reach for your department’s sales record instead of merely reaching your quota for the month.
You don’t have to have just one! Although we’ve been speaking today about a singular accountability partner, there can be as many as you’d like. Often, people choose groups of people to be their accountability partners as well as a sole person (think of situations such as Alcoholics Anonymous, where people speak both to a group and a personal sponsor). Your accountability partner(s) can be a friend, a group you belong to, a blog, or your Twitter followers—whatever floats your boat. Just make sure they’re actually keeping you accountable!
If you’re anything like me (or the rest of the world, really), an accountability partner can truly make the difference when reaching for those goals. Coincidentally, health coaches make great accountability partners, and I’d love to be yours! If you’re interested in getting started, schedule a free Get Glowing Strategy session or read more about The Glow Getter’s services today!
March 16, 2015-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This video from 2011, by Krystal will never get old to me. She's not saying anything particularly new, but sometimes you gotta talk to people on their level. Cut 'em OFF, Krissy!
January 2014-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay so... here's the thing... Several of my friends and acquaintances have been discussing this concept of "bad sex partners" and dudes who just "do it wrong"... And this commentary is usually coming from males themselves. Based on the conversations that females either have with them... or conversations that they have overheard. So I thought this would be something interesting to discuss because I never really know what men are thinking when it comes to sex.
One of my friends tweeted recently that "If a [n-word]'s goal is not to make his lady orgasm as many times as she is capable of doing so in the time allotted for their sexual encounter" he is doing something wrong and the chick will talk about him poorly to all of her friends. Another of my friends tweeted that he thinks [n-word]s just pound until they can't anymore and call it a day"... In both of these cases, (LOL) it seems that both think that someone is getting it wrong. But I also wonder what people who think that way would do to rectify the situation.
Sex seems to be such a taboo topic for discourse in male-female relationships. Even if you are not planning on keeping a female around for long periods of time; Gentlemen, you should still follow the rule of reciprocity. I'm positive it will serve you well. Now, if you do not know what this is... I have no problem explaining it; as I TRULY do not understand why most men do not think this way.
I know that several don't because I have had several conversations that has made this very clear to me. Anyway, the rule of reciprocity with MOST women says that if you do what it takes to please her, your pleasure will know very few limits. I know for a fact this is the general school of thought for most Aquarians. [to a much stronger degree] But on a very basic level, it is also the rule of thumb for most women. Even in the most simple situation: If you find out what a woman likes, and put effort into accurately delivering it, she will come back even if only for the peen.
FACT!
The problem is that most men, and women, think that they have sex down pact for all members within their radius of attraction. But that's not true. How do you know what someone wants or likes if you don't ask or find some method of discovery? And then, many men think that they are able to tell what turns a woman on or tickles her fancy by paying attention to what she says or how she responds to you. Little known fact... If a woman is into a man... she will say and do whatever is necessary to make him feel good. My point? You cannot rely solely on the things that you think are tell-tell signs simply because you would rather avoid what could result in an awkward conversation. It doesn't serve either of you well. No two people are created equally. Therefore the next may not like what turned the last on, and so on and so forth. The only way you can really find out what gets a person moving, is to inquire within. Ask her what she likes... tell her what you like... Discuss her turn-ons and more importantly her turn-offs... Keep her interested and get more interested.... And how would you even KNOW how sexually congruent you are with a person otherwise?
That being said. sex should be a negotiation of things that work for both parties. It becomes exponentially more challenging, yet straight forward once you are in a monogamous relationship because then you have several other variables to tend to... Yet you're only doing these things with ONE person...
And if you decide not to take into account what makes her body tick... you are by definition a selfish lover. Now there are obviously cases where someone would not care if they are being labeled a selfish lover. But clearly this information is not really for them. More so, it is for those who truly think their game is tight...and yet aren't taking the steps necessary to insure that this is correct.
Every woman is wired differently... and this may or may not be the case for every man as well. For instance, sex is purely psychological for some women while for others it is all physical, and others may experience variations of combinations of the two. So... I am all for experimenting. But I am even more in favor of simply asking the person... That is of course... if he/she is someone that you would prefer to keep around. Sex is meant to be enjoyable, and bring joy to those who experience it. Opening up the lines of communication can truly improve the chances of meeting that goal for all parties involved.
More to come later I suppose... holler!
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