30 Days/30 Songs. Day 2: Your Least Favorite Song

"Every Girl in the World" - Young Money (Lil' Wayne, Drake Jae Millz, Gudda Gudda & Mack Maine)

This one was easy.
I tried to approach this one unbiased, because it's no secret I despise Young Money and all its 'artists'. (Especially- ESPECIALLY that logo of theirs that's a ripoff of the legendary New York Yankees logo.) Even with an indifferent eye on the subject, I can't help but feel that this is by far one of THE STUPIDEST SONGS EVER WRITTEN.

From it's ridiculous ambition (whether serious, or playful) to 'fuck every girl in the world', to it's sinfully catchy hook, it makes no sense. How can you state that you want to fuck every girl in the world yet your music videos, your demeanor, and your lyrics clearly identify a certain type of woman that you're solely interested in? By being a complete fool, that's how.

It's my belief that songs like this are the reason irresponsible men are out here with 4 or 5 children with 4 or 5 different mothers. I'm far from giving a shit about women's rights, nor do I carry myself as a role model for how men should treat women. However, I have enough common sense to see that this is a preposterous idea, no matter how much you love women. Any male worth his salt that has led a life of casual sex knows that sleeping with 'every girl in the world' or even too many is a recipe for disaster on numerous levels. This song (along with many others like it) remind me of why so many other cultures hate hip-hop. Hip-hop started out as the black man's CNN and now it's nothing more than tales of frivolous spending and glorified sexual escapades with red and yellow skinned video vixens. The funny part about that is, NONE of the audience that caters to this type of 'music' can relate to the lifestyle described in the songs.
Even if... it's a playful tale of wanting to sleep with every (pretty, fair skinned, long haired, size 2-6) girl in the world.

...and that's just all I have to say about that. Meh.

(Close runner up: "I'm Single" - Lil' Wayne another completely retarded song that makes absolutely no sense in real life.)
Title: Every Girl in the World
Artist: Young Money
Album: We Are Young Money
Released:  December 21, 2009

30 Days/30 Songs. Day 1: Your Favorite Song

They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)" - Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth

It was really hard to come up with what was my favorite song of all time. But then I remembered- I'm fucking in love with this song. What was composed as a eternal tribute to Trouble T-Roy a dance member of Heavy D & The Boyz, has carved a legacy as one of hip-hop's most highly regarded songs. 

It's impossible not to listen to this song and not tap your foot or nod your head in approval. The jazzy saxophone and bass line, the smooth (no pun intended) sound of C.L.'s voice as tells fond memories of his own childhood, in working class Mt. Vernon... this is more than a song. This is an eargasm.

I implore you to listen again if you don't feel what C.L. is talking about here. This song is the testament to the daily struggle in the life of one man. It doesn't matter if you're from Pigmont, North Dakota or Mt. Vernon, New York. When you listen to this song you can almost feel how memories appreciate when time passes. For example, when C.L. states, "Telling me how to raise my boy unless he's taking over, I said Pop, maybe when you're older" This shows how even advice from elders, which can come off as annoying and overbearing- can grow into nostalgia over time. This song is amazing, and it will only grow in relevance as memories grow in the mind of the listener. Whether they are good or bad. Remember your past as a positive over negative, and be thankful.

Just follow Pete Rock's advice as the song leads out: "Just listen. Listen. Listen, just listen."

Title: They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)

Artist: Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth
Album: Mecca and the Soul Brother
Release: June 9, 1992

Buy here

The Notorious SIRI

Okay.

Also, this is hilarious. (But I fear, kids won't get what I'm saying here)

Moneyball and Life: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game

'Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game' is a 2003 book written by Michael Lewis about the Oakland A's baseball team and its manager, Billy Beane. The book focuses on Billy's modern, sabermetric approach to building a competitive team in a league where Oakland's revenue just cannot compete with the rest of the MLB. The movie starring Brad Pitt was released earlier this year, and will be released on DVD/Blu Ray on Jan. 10. I cannot stress enough how awesome this movie was.

In fact, this is what this particular entry is about.

I know most of you are not interested in baseball, but I'm not focusing on the actual game of baseball here. I'm focusing on the idea that the film chose to support. The idea that yes you- the little guy CAN take on the machine and 'win'. Yes, you can change the rules of the game- especially when the game is being played to put you at a disadvantage.
The film stars Brad Pitt as Beane, who is living with the ghost of his own short-lived, failed, baseball career haunting him, forever regretting his decision to play in the majors and sacrifice his full scholarship to Stanford. His failed marriage, and his daughter now living with his ex-wife and her effeminate new husband, and he's the general manager of the Oakland A's. The Oakland A's are in a bad shape. They consistently grow great players, but since they don't have much money- the players they train and "farm" are snatched away by larger and richer teams. Beane has beaten himself up so much over his shitty life that he blames the team's failures on his own bad luck.

But then something happens, (I'm not going to tell the movie) and it snowballs into Beane changing the way the sport is viewed and played. He decides to go against all the pros and all the folk that tell him he won't win and take a chance on what he feels is right. Since the odds were heavily stacked against him from the beginning, this is not an easy path to take. He is constantly flanked by opposition, most of it from his own team. As I sat there in that theater absorbing the film, I couldn't help but feel like I could relate to Billy in so many ways. Sometimes our lives can present us with choices we have to make that at first seem like great decisions, but then you find yourself twenty years later regretting those decisions and you feel like you're at rock bottom because of them. ...well at least that's how I felt watching it. After Beane applies his method, there's no immediate change- in fact the team slumps worse than before, but then in that 11th hour, the team goes on to accomplish a record breaking 20 game win streak. (which actually happened in 2002- film's based on a true story, guys) You find yourself now cheering for the underdog as the defunct ragtag A's are now playoff bound, Beane's finally believing in himself.. and then well...

Just go look at sport's records to find out what happened next. Hint: They  didn't make it to the championship. Hey, not all endings are happy.

So is the lesson 'Moneyball' trying to teach us is: 'Winning' isn't everything or better yet, recognize what true victory is? The legendary Vince Lombardi used to say that (winning) it's the only thing. But what if Lombardi was wrong? What if other things mean more, last longer, have more significance than victories, not only in life but also in the particular lives of the people who play the games?

*spoiler alert*
At the very end of the film, Beane is just about to give up, because he's facing the reality that he can't win. He just CAN'T. He faces the decision to walk away from his dream of just 'winning' one time and chasing a better paycheck and a stress free life. Then he pops in a CD that his daughter made for him- and she sings THIS SONG. The actress, Kerris Dorsey does a great job, but she alters the outro lyrics from the original song which go

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

to her own version which goes:

You're such a loser, Dad
You're such a loser, Dad
You're such a loser, Dad
Just enjoy the show


In pro sports, and sometimes life, there's no epithet worse than 'loser' However, in this context, it's not really an epithet at all. It's a term of endearment, a message of love from a daughter to her Dad, and more importantly from the filmmakers to us ...It doesn't matter if the Oakland A's didn't win the World Series. It didn't matter if Billy Beane was, and still is, a "loser" according to the traditional standard. He's a WINNER because he raged against the machine. Billy fought the good fight and because his daughter loves him enough to sing him a song, and tease him, he has won in the end.

Take a look at your own life. There are probably things you wish could go better or decisions you've made that led to some crappy situations, or some downright defeats. I'm constantly reminded how much I've failed in so many aspects of my life, but you know what? I'm reminded that none of that matters when I tweet that I'm having a crappy day, and I get 20 concerned phone calls before the end of the afternoon, or I throw a birthday party and folk come out and party with me and make me feel like the man of the year. You're not going to 'win' them all. No one does.
However if you do what you feel is right, and you put forth a solid effort, you work hard, and you recognize your TRUE victories, you'll always be a winner. Apply this to your own life.

You too can 'win' the unfair game. 

Kerris Dorsey's version of the show. It's SO adorable. (The actual song begins around 2:25 after the trailer)

Fuck YOU, Winnie Cooper!

Thank you cosmic superpowers for Netflix.
Why?

Because NETFLIX has 'The Wonder Years'

This show helped illustrate what life was kinda like to a young Tescadero. As I sat there watching the show that gave birth to 'Boy Meets World', watching the young Kevin Arnold go through those awkward teenage years, I walked down my own memory lane all whilst being serenaded by some of the best songs of the 1960's. (And arguably the best soundtrack a television show has ever put together. I forgot how much I loved this show.)

Allow me to digress for a second in case you've never SEEN The Wonder Years. This show transcended a normal coming of age story. It perfectly depicted those awkward teenage times when you're trying to discover what kind of adult you're gonna be. For example here’s the narrator (adult Kevin Arnold) at the close of the first episode, right after Kevin and Winnie have their first kiss:

"It was the first kiss for both of us. We never really talked about it afterward, but I think about the events of that day again and again, and somehow I know that Winnie does too. Whenever some blowhard starts talking about the anonymity of the suburbs, or the mindlessness of the TV generation. Because we know that inside each one of those identical boxes, with its Dodge parked out front, and its white bread on the table, and its TV set glowing blue in the falling dusk, there were people with stories. There were families bound together in the pain and the struggle of love. There were moments that made us cry with laughter. And there were moments, like that one, of sorrow and wonder."

That's not television, that is literature. That is poetry.

When you watch these two kids nervously touch lips for the first time, you get a weird sense of nostalgia. You probably weren't a kid in the 60's, hell you probably weren't the age they were portraying- but you'll feel like you were. This is a testament to the show’s endurance, to its deep resonance in American pop culture.

...and then I remembered why I hate Winnie Cooper. For those of you that don't remember- Winnie was the girl of Kevin's dreams. His first love, his high school sweetheart. All of that. This hatred probably should have went away, but now, looking back and watching the show with adult eyes... nope- I STILL hate her.

It seems the only difference between my hatred for her then, and my hatred for her now is- as a kid I was frustrated for Kevin's sake. I sat there with him every week as she pulled him through that yo-yo garbage disposal she calls her feelings. You know what I'm talking about- she doesn't want to be with him, but she wants to talk to him everyday, she wants to be his female best friend, she wants to be around him everyday, and she wants him to be fine with all of that.

I sit here now and hate her for what she represents. She represents ALL WOMEN that don't know what they want, yet manipulate their talons into one guy while she shops through numerous other men, erring and experimenting in pursuit of what she IS looking for. Because she figures as long as she's verbally honest, she's not doing anything wrong. So sure, she can tell you all about why YOU aren't good enough, and usually these reasons are really dumb. (i.e. I just was told by a girl two weeks ago, that I would be perfect for her, and she beats herself up that she isn't giving us a fair chance- but she hates the way I dress)

Oh yes, Ms. Cooper, I am not fooled by your obvious girl next door, plain, inexpressive personality. You are the devil. Pure evil incarnate. When you wanted a bad guy, Kevin was nice. Kevin grew into a bit of a dick, and suddenly your flavor was nice guys. You just couldn't make up your mind could you?
Let's not mention that whole period where everyone in town knew your panties were in a bunch for Kevin but you STILL wouldn't give him any affection. Your only explanation was, (and I quote): "I like you, Kevin...but I don't...but I do!" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Ugh.

 Death to the Winnie Coopers of the world.