A long time ago I dated a girl that hated semen.
Actually, I went through an entire phase where it seemed every girl I took home, no matter where I met them, just hated semen.
I'm not talking a strong displeasure- no I'm talking full-on Hitler to Jews hate.
So, I'm sitting on a kitchen counter one cool summer night in 2006 as Sonya is on her knees giving me one of the sloppiest blowjobs I've ever encountered. I'm talking copious amounts of saliva. I had been sleeping with her for about a month now, and it was strange- I wasn't really attracted to her but she made my dick happy so I kept her around. She was currently house and dog sitting for friends that were off celebrating their honeymoon, and I suppose something on Lifetime got her in a mood because she called me over and seconds after I walked in, I'm experiencing the first sentence of this paragraph.
Minutes later I'm clutching the faucet, tightening my stomach muscles hoping to God that I don't blow my load, because she had given me her rules not two weeks ago- and within those rules was that damned,
"Do NOT cum on me, or near me,and definitely NOT in me."
Cool.
I just have to endure this super-awesome session with her face vagina without cumming. What the fuck. Anyway, the full sized Labrador she's supposed to be watching is looking at me oddly.
Since I can't have a stare down with this beast and refrain from showing physical appreciation for this fantastic fellatio, I calmly unsuction her lips off my pelvis and suggest we move in to the bedroom.
As I'm wrapping up in preparation for the sex, I can't help thinking how ass backwards she is, that she gives the most tongue lashingest, dick strangling, blowies ever- and she obviously has NO problem fucking in her friend's bed- but she's afraid of a little cum.
In fact, after our suck, fuck, she ripped the condom off and hit i t back to the head. (Duck Duck Goose)
Which, even though it was amazing ...it left me confused.
After the smoke cleared, we laid there tired, and it wasn't long before I executed my exit strategy. I tell her that I need to get back home and wash clothes my uniforms for work tomorrow, and some other bullshit that were ridiculous lies. I've slept around enough at this point in my life to have my exit strategies down to a science- I keep all my clothes relatively close, for faster eject times. Lacing up my shoes, there's only one thing I need to grab before I leave:
The condom that she so casually tossed to the floor earlier.
I'm frantically looking or it, and I can't find it- and it's going on 15 minutes- she's noticing I'm looking for something- and I think it's kinda making her uneasy. I tell her I can't find the condom, but I gotta go- she begins turning on the lights and tells me she'll take care of it. I head out into the hall on the way out, where I see the dog with the condom in his mouth, shaking his viciously as if it were a chew toy- spilling all of my unused children on his face and the walls.
I take the condom from the growling dog, quickly toss it away and wash my hands.
Sonya finally comes out of the bedroom just as I turn the water off. I turn to grab a paper towel and she asks me when do I wanna hook up again.
I turn around to answer her and before I can say anything, I see she's bent over playing with the dog, who is licking her on her neck, face and hands.
"What? *giggle* Why are you looking at me like that?"
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