In my line of living, I run into all sorts of folks. I've met some great people along the way, great guys that end up with the worst women. You know... Bitches. (to be fair, I've witnessed several great women with horrible guys too, but I've defended the women like 8 times last year.)
So go ahead and attack that title, and my soon frequent use of 'crazy bitch'
Make sure you leave the page too, because it's not going to get better from here on out.
I warned you. Bitch.
*ahem*
Bitches be crazy! It's funny because it's true, right?
The funny things is though, there are several warning signs before guys get in too deep with them, maybe you see them, maybe you don't. But there had to be something you ignored before she's cussing you out at that gas station, starting fights in the club, stomping her feet and everyone is watching you. You're embarrassed! Hell she's even putting her head down, hair laid out all over the dinner table, and falling asleep- in a crowded restaurant (happened to me) or keying your car (also happened to me), taking control of your social medias, (will never happen to me) and so forth.
And I started to think about those warning signs I ignored in both situations...
I thought, if only I had stumbled across some random blog that discussed these things, would I have listened? I probably would've if it mentioned these telltale behaviors.
Starting with the...
BULLSHIT
Without asking, have you ever heard your snuggle bunny say some shit like, "I hate drama", or "I only hang around boys." How about, "Girls have too much drama." and my personal favorite, "I'm not like other girls"? Isn't it funny how they need to tell you that they're all the things they think you want to hear? "I hate drama." -Don't we all? "I only hang around boys..." Why don't the other girls like you??
Y'know Dr. House said it best: everybody lies.
The words that came out of your potential soul mate's mouth the first couple of days you two are basking in each other's awesomeness, are nothing more than the sales pitch from someone desperately trying to sway your initial opinion. We've covered this before in earlier entries. But within that initial smoke bomb of verbal bullshit, you should always pick out phrases like those. Always remember if your lady really did stick to those things she wouldn't need to say it, her actions would prove it. In fact, let that be a lesson in life. You never really have to ask someone what they are, just watch them.
Only liars, and rookies try to convince you of their own behaviors. Michael Jordan never said he was the greatest, he just did it. Make a note of that 'King' James.
Moving on.
INSECURITY
This one's a big one. In fact, it's what actually sparked this particular entry. True, we all have insecurities- but having one or two is a helluva lot different than having five or six. I'm not a fan of insecure women. In fact, the traits that turn me on most in women are confidence, and independence. It seems that in today's digital world, insecurity rears it's ugly head in many, many ways. The most common being via social media. If you meet a girl on Tinder, and she's spinning the nonsense: (see: previous paragraph, BULLSHIT.) "Oh, I'm not looking for any hookups, or fuck buddies", then a week later you're getting all sorts of nudes in your inbox, and you haven't even taken her on a proper outing, run. In fact, I'm going to step out on a limb here and say any girl that sends you a nude picture of herself is tap dancing on that 'she is hot/she's batshit crazy' line. If you don't know her eye color and she's sent you the nudes, she's worked it into her crazy head that this is the only way she's going to get your attention. She's probably right, but I guarantee you that the girl who's not sending the nudes is less likely to blow your phone up with 15 missed calls and texts within 3 hours. She's also less likely to want to look through your phone, or track your online habits.
If you're paying attention, you may notice that the only person in the world of any importance to your girl is herself. Other humans are just obstacles who get in the way of her selfish pursuits. She's the only
person affected by any tragedies, any discomforts, natural disasters...etc. etc.. Run. Run now.
The only feelings worth considering in any given conversation are hers. She's kind of person that would likely blow off something important to you to go do something ultimately (sub in: "likely not very important") concerning her. If you truly need an example of this, then imagine you've invited your girlfriend to a gathering of friends that you're really excited about her meeting, and she flatly says 'no'. Additionally, she adds that it sounds 'pretty lame', so you go alone. You're having a great time with your friends- and out of nowhere she shows up anyway, with some fucking drama that has nothing to do with you, and is totally all you having something to do that wasn't about her damaged ass. ...sorry. Another personal event off my chest.
In fact the only thing worse than a self centered person...
SHE'S A PRINCESS
Now, I expect all Dads to treat their daughters great... but some Dads drill it in their daughters heads that they shit platinum, and they're better than any other female, or person in the universe. She was pampered and adored as a child, basically given anything she asked for. Completely ignorant of life's disappointments and shortcomings, never once scraped her knee and dealt with it on her own. As an adult, she still thinks she is entitled to everything. She explicitly expects car rides, trivial gifts, and attention from you, she makes constant, or ridiculous demands of people, but never listens to their requests. The truth about her is, there is no fixing her; it's programmed into her mainframe. Only by being denied by you will she begin to fathom even a fraction of reality.
speaking of reality....
SHE'S DATING YOU
And this one is actually my favorite one, because it requires deep, deep reflection.
Are you an unbalanced piece of shit?
I'm serious.Think about it.
Because if you truly know that you are worthless- and this girl is dating you, fuck what the RomComs tell you. The "there's good in you" argument doesn't apply to you, because you're a dirt bag. Seriously. I'm not talking Aladdin... or A Walk to Remember. You're trash, and if she sees you two galloping off in the sunset, and again- you KNOW you're horrible- then that means she's on the same boat. It's not her, it's the both of you. Don't expect this relationship to be without its nuclear explosions, and 'WTF' moments.
So there you have it. I've learned to avoid these people at all costs. Peace of mind in my opinion is far more valuable than dealing with volatile, or emotionally mercurial individuals. I've been the victim of many insecure women, and no matter how much I try to uplift them, I always manage to end up providing a shoulder for endless tears of something that happened before me.
Now, I know I said run a couple times here- but let me be honest. Maybe your crazy person is perfect for you. Maybe you can weather the storm. If so, more power to you. This is just my opinion of things to look for if you're one of those guys that comes home to his PlayStation broken, and wonders how the hell he got in this situation.
Keep your eyes peeled, Jack.
Unless... you're already with her.
I'll pray for you.
So go ahead and attack that title, and my soon frequent use of 'crazy bitch'
Make sure you leave the page too, because it's not going to get better from here on out.
I warned you. Bitch.
*ahem*
Bitches be crazy! It's funny because it's true, right?
The funny things is though, there are several warning signs before guys get in too deep with them, maybe you see them, maybe you don't. But there had to be something you ignored before she's cussing you out at that gas station, starting fights in the club, stomping her feet and everyone is watching you. You're embarrassed! Hell she's even putting her head down, hair laid out all over the dinner table, and falling asleep- in a crowded restaurant (happened to me) or keying your car (also happened to me), taking control of your social medias, (will never happen to me) and so forth.
And I started to think about those warning signs I ignored in both situations...
I thought, if only I had stumbled across some random blog that discussed these things, would I have listened? I probably would've if it mentioned these telltale behaviors.
Starting with the...
BULLSHIT
Without asking, have you ever heard your snuggle bunny say some shit like, "I hate drama", or "I only hang around boys." How about, "Girls have too much drama." and my personal favorite, "I'm not like other girls"? Isn't it funny how they need to tell you that they're all the things they think you want to hear? "I hate drama." -Don't we all? "I only hang around boys..." Why don't the other girls like you?? Y'know Dr. House said it best: everybody lies.
The words that came out of your potential soul mate's mouth the first couple of days you two are basking in each other's awesomeness, are nothing more than the sales pitch from someone desperately trying to sway your initial opinion. We've covered this before in earlier entries. But within that initial smoke bomb of verbal bullshit, you should always pick out phrases like those. Always remember if your lady really did stick to those things she wouldn't need to say it, her actions would prove it. In fact, let that be a lesson in life. You never really have to ask someone what they are, just watch them.
Only liars, and rookies try to convince you of their own behaviors. Michael Jordan never said he was the greatest, he just did it. Make a note of that 'King' James.
Moving on.
INSECURITY
This one's a big one. In fact, it's what actually sparked this particular entry. True, we all have insecurities- but having one or two is a helluva lot different than having five or six. I'm not a fan of insecure women. In fact, the traits that turn me on most in women are confidence, and independence. It seems that in today's digital world, insecurity rears it's ugly head in many, many ways. The most common being via social media. If you meet a girl on Tinder, and she's spinning the nonsense: (see: previous paragraph, BULLSHIT.) "Oh, I'm not looking for any hookups, or fuck buddies", then a week later you're getting all sorts of nudes in your inbox, and you haven't even taken her on a proper outing, run. In fact, I'm going to step out on a limb here and say any girl that sends you a nude picture of herself is tap dancing on that 'she is hot/she's batshit crazy' line. If you don't know her eye color and she's sent you the nudes, she's worked it into her crazy head that this is the only way she's going to get your attention. She's probably right, but I guarantee you that the girl who's not sending the nudes is less likely to blow your phone up with 15 missed calls and texts within 3 hours. She's also less likely to want to look through your phone, or track your online habits.
But there are other disguises the evil known as insecurity likes to put on such as:
- Playing the victim constantly. You know, that whole "Everyone is against me" shit. She can't just wake up and strive for excellence, because the entire Earth has a massive hard on for ruining her, and only her, day.
- Body modifications. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not going to sit here and lie to you that all body modifications are bad, and frankly it's her body she can do what she wants with it. But in today's age, the shit has gone too far. Women don't look like women anymore. They look like cyborgs, Michelin men hybrids, and all sorts of ridiculousness that you'd think you only saw in Alice's Wonderland. Implants, nips, tucks, hair dyes...all with the intent to get attention (which can be blamed on men a bit) without using the one thing that should've mattered most. Their brain.
- Delusion. This is when people mistake one innocent situation for something completely different. Or making up fabulous stories about things that simply aren't true. OR- and this is a good one- refusing to see the truth for what it is. i.e. hanging on to a man that obviously doesn't want them.
- Making their presence known, through ridiculous tantrums, comments, outbursts- anything to be noticed when no one was concerned with them.
If you're paying attention, you may notice that the only person in the world of any importance to your girl is herself. Other humans are just obstacles who get in the way of her selfish pursuits. She's the onlyperson affected by any tragedies, any discomforts, natural disasters...etc. etc.. Run. Run now.
The only feelings worth considering in any given conversation are hers. She's kind of person that would likely blow off something important to you to go do something ultimately (sub in: "likely not very important") concerning her. If you truly need an example of this, then imagine you've invited your girlfriend to a gathering of friends that you're really excited about her meeting, and she flatly says 'no'. Additionally, she adds that it sounds 'pretty lame', so you go alone. You're having a great time with your friends- and out of nowhere she shows up anyway, with some fucking drama that has nothing to do with you, and is totally all you having something to do that wasn't about her damaged ass. ...sorry. Another personal event off my chest.
In fact the only thing worse than a self centered person...
SHE'S A PRINCESS
speaking of reality....
SHE'S DATING YOU
And this one is actually my favorite one, because it requires deep, deep reflection.
Are you an unbalanced piece of shit?
I'm serious.Think about it.
Because if you truly know that you are worthless- and this girl is dating you, fuck what the RomComs tell you. The "there's good in you" argument doesn't apply to you, because you're a dirt bag. Seriously. I'm not talking Aladdin... or A Walk to Remember. You're trash, and if she sees you two galloping off in the sunset, and again- you KNOW you're horrible- then that means she's on the same boat. It's not her, it's the both of you. Don't expect this relationship to be without its nuclear explosions, and 'WTF' moments.
So there you have it. I've learned to avoid these people at all costs. Peace of mind in my opinion is far more valuable than dealing with volatile, or emotionally mercurial individuals. I've been the victim of many insecure women, and no matter how much I try to uplift them, I always manage to end up providing a shoulder for endless tears of something that happened before me.
Now, I know I said run a couple times here- but let me be honest. Maybe your crazy person is perfect for you. Maybe you can weather the storm. If so, more power to you. This is just my opinion of things to look for if you're one of those guys that comes home to his PlayStation broken, and wonders how the hell he got in this situation.
Keep your eyes peeled, Jack.
Unless... you're already with her.
I'll pray for you.
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