Confirmed Dead [Unnecessary]

According, to most folk, I'm a JACKASS. And some women think that the girls I date (and you should know by now, I use 'date' loosely- as in hooking up is a date) are trash. Which is funny...

But, I can't help but notice that I don't have any of the relationship issues that most people I know do. I don't have to worry about making that Facebook single/not single/complicated or the status where I wear my heart on my sleeve. "I don't need you anymore, I was true- you lied. I'm a better woman without you!" and blah blah.

Nevertheless it seems like lately the most pressing issue that most crosses my desk is when to let go. You know, where I'm going with this- so if my usual cold perspective pisses you off. Eject your ass from the page now.

Now the problem with most of ya'll is you think that you can just sweep the past under a rug and be done with it. Even I, with my detached attitude, know this is untrue. Unless, you're me... or like it. Relationships aren't drugs- hell even drugs take more than cold turkey to kick. If you do try to handle it overnight, it'll be like a Band-Aid. It hurts like a bitch, and it may leave some sticky residue behind. Think of it more like a- lawn mower- you know you're out there on a hot summer day and you're looking at that jungle you call a lawn and saying to yourself, "Grass, I'ma cut you!" then you get to pullin' that crank cord and -nothing. You gotta pull it like three or four times before it cranks up. Hell if that picture ain't working for you- think of it like tipping over a soda machine. One push won't do it. You gotta get it rocking first.

Because try as you might- and tell all your girlfriends or boys... but you're gonna hook up. Again and again. Until one of you finds someone better than YOU/THEM. Which will then solidify their position as an EX. But why stall and waste that time? Some of you could have found that next person. That person that maybe you should be with- but you couldn't see their light because you still got your head under the past's umbrella.

Newsflash- They are an EX for a reason!

Do yourself the favor of taking a serious break from them- respect the reasons that you broke up with them and stop submitting to the silly needs of the flesh. And please. PLEASE never think that you won't be fine without them because trust me- they weren't with you during puberty, or when your parents divorced. So you can get by without them now...and vice versa, despite what they said you are not the gears that make their clocks tick. If you are- then you shouldn't have been with them in the first place. Set a standard for yourself and stick to it. Discipline dammit. If you can't then don't complain about it to your friends. Do you know how pathetic you sound when you and your friends agree that you need to separate yourself from your Ex, but you find reasons to go back- and when you get your feelings hurt, (oh because you WILL) you come singing that same sob story to your friends again? Especially if you are the type of person that put your friends on the back burner and neglected for your relationship-which now you realize did not last, but you expect your friendship to. So if you can't discipline yourself- try trusting and appreciating your friends more.

This is probably a good time to try putting yourself on a pedestal. No. It's not conceited- in fact it's the perfect remedy for those that just wanna cry or already are crying because he/she left. Do some trash talking. Realize they ain't shit, and you're glad they're gone. You know- sometimes God, or whatever higher power you believe in- takes people out of your life to make room for the person that's supposed to be there. But you wouldn't know because you're fighting it. And for those that feel that their EX is that soulmate and God DID make them just for you...
Do yourself a favor and don't come back until they fix everything that made you leave. (Or until you fix everything that made them leave- however you're reading this.) Stay away from them until that happens- go find yourself! Take YOURself shopping or to the damn movies. Hell, if you can't enjoy yourself, then what makes you think somebody else will? Okay. I'm done. I know it's all jumbled up and out of order and I'm just ranting but- I needed to get it off my chest, because if I see ONE more of these lopsided ass relationships where the partner is in a good place and my friend is steady trying to do something, hoping to do something, wasting time because they got there nose wide open for Sally Rottencrotch or Billy Crookeddick devoting ALL their spare time to them- I'm going to scream. (Especially, if ya'll have "broken up")

Take from it what you can.

"A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water." -Carl Reiner