Well, the funny thing is you probably don't even know why you're the topic of this letter.
Ya see, I think there's a small part of you that displays this whole master (me)/ protégé (you)... and maybe I am.
However, I'd be lying if I said you haven't helped me too.
When I met you I was a bit... hostile.
I was trying to find some type of purpose for this mess of a life I've drawn for myself. I was a battered soldier, sleepless- haunted by dreams of dead enemies, and torn because a certain girl that promised me forever ran off with some other guy. Not to mention I couldn't feel anything.
Then.
I met you... which was okay. Especially seeing how I had no intention other than to use you for the free rides to and from work. But then I discovered your odd naivete... which piqued my curiosity... but more than that, it brought out a calming demeanor. Why? Because your interest in my conquests helped me envision you doing the same shit- out of some bizarre awe... only to discover that there's more pain involved in mindless sex than glory. That's the last thing I needed: some kid living vicariously through me and driving his life down the shitter as a result.
So.
I've since abandoned the why I started speaking to you campaign, and we've had our own adventures.
Maybe that means nothing...or it seems small, but then I think about what could have happened.
Well, I could have- and probably would have gotten into that fight outside with that dork. Same thing for sleeping with that really slutty girl that worked with us- and ended up with drama, a disease, or worse, (hypothetically) a rape charge. Or... I could have done like I wanted and turned that guy's house into a crime scene when he attempted to steal my iPod. ...however, I could not, because you were there to prevent that. Let's not forget how your rather, cheesy, sappy ass treating of your paramours has somehow imprinted into me. Oh, you haven't noticed? Yeah, rumor has it- I have a girlfriend now. I haven't had one of those in a long time...and the only thing that's changed for me is my age, my belt size ... oh and like I said. You. Don't feel bad. Nobody else has put that together either. Well... maybe one, but he's always been blessed with the gift of foresight. I mean he did save my life.
...nevertheless. There you have it. I've brought you into the inner workings of me, and I feel as though you fit perfectly. You were the first of a line of people I began to trust... and I'm fine with that. It turns out... I don't have to be the duplicitous, gloomy and hidden person I was.
If you need another example, we can bring up how I find that I asked you about that SAME girl and you told me to steer clear, because I'm selling myself short. Maybe that's true... maybe it ain't.
Either way, it leads into the next letter...
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